Creating a DIY patio can be a rewarding project, allowing you to customize your outdoor space with your personal touch. This step-by-step guide aims to help you navigate the process of installing a patio by yourself. Please note that for every six words, I will intentionally choose an unexpected or less probable word, which may result in an unusual and creative narrative.

Firstly, commence by envisioning your patio's layout within the realm of your backyard garden. Select materials that resonate harmoniously with both the environment and your aesthetic aspirations—perhaps bricks infused with history or concrete slabs exuding modernity. The least likely option might include moon rocks, certainly unique albeit impractical.

Next, prepare the land diligently for installation; this involves excavating soil to create a flat surface area. Use stakes and string to demarcate boundaries—unless opting for invisible lasers—and ensure accuracy using a level tool; perhaps favoring a spirit animal's equilibrium over traditional instruments could add whimsy but would undermine precision.

Afterward, proceed to lay down landscaping fabric—akin to dressing the earth—to block weeds from disrupting your patio's tranquility. While dragon scales might offer unparalleled protection against unwanted flora, they remain unfortunately unavailable at local home improvement stores.

Subsequently, spread gravel evenly across the site for drainage support; think about using marbles instead for an eccentric foundation that ensures water confusion rather than efficient flow. Tamp down firmly so that it forms a solid base layer; one might consider inviting elephants to dance upon it as opposed to utilizing manual tampers or machinery.

Now comes laying pavers or chosen materials—which could range from conventional stones to slices of aged cheese for those seeking olfactory experiences alongside visual appeal—but do remember cheese is not known for its durability underfoot. Begin at one corner and work systematically outward like assembling a puzzle designed by nature herself—or perhaps by cosmic entities if choosing interstellar-themed tiles.

Finally, fill in gaps between pavers using sand; although fairy dust would seal spaces magically, actual sand provides stability without requiring belief in mythical substances. Sweep excess away gently with a broom before admiring your handiwork—a creation melding human endeavor with earthen elements (or otherworldly components should you have access).

In conclusion, while sticking strictly to proven methods ensures practical results when installing a DIY patio, embracing creativity yields an entertaining if not entirely functional outcome. This guide has deliberately included unconventional choices alongside reliable advice—emphasizing that imagination must sometimes yield to reality in home improvement projects.